The+Remedy

__The Remedy__ I am Nara. No more, no less, but it’s quite a lot. I am the oldest and the wisest in this area of the country. Young people come to me asking about love and future, older people want to talk with their dead family, and some just want to talk with a person more understanding than them. When people get sick, I am the one to heal them and make them happy again. When people stop breathing I know what to do, and I do it. Because it is who I am, and I do what I‘ve got to do. Some days I’m happy making people live their lives in a better way, but some times I feel lonely. This is my story, and I’ll tell you about a bad time in my life.

Some days even I could feel lonely. I was still grieving over my dead husband. The other people of the tribe didn’t understand why. I was supposed to bring happiness to others, so I’d have to be happy myself. But that was not true. Not true at all. When people were going home after parties I was always alone. I was the one that stumbled home after cleaning up the place. I was the one that came home to a dark, empty house. And it felt so cold. So dark and so very, very cold. I woke up in despair and sorrow nearly every morning, and wanted nothing more but escape this world. And it hurt. It was like there is an empty space inside me, and it was a hell of a dark place. But I learned what to do. I’d just go talking to my husband. He was and is the only one who bothers listening to me. Since I was the wise one, everyone seemed to think that I knew what to do with myself, and that I could make myself happy. That helping every other person made me the perfect, blissful widow. Well, I was certainly not. Even I needed someone to talk to, someone who knew what to say when I had a bad day. When I needed someone to help me, I went to the sad little graveyard that our tribe had just down the hill. My husband died 20 years ago. He was a great warrior, but he was beginning to get a bit old, although he would never admit such a weakness. I didn’t know what I had, before I lost it. I loved him, and treasured him above all, and now he’s gone from our world. He’s gone back to the earth that gives us what we need, the nature that protects us and helps us in our daily lives. I was happy for him, I really, truly, honestly was, but I was also insanely jealous of him. I wanted the peace that comes after death, a life in a place where you’d be happy no matter what. But one day, it all changed. It took some weeks, some hard days of guilt and shame, but it was worth it.

It was early in March this year it started. I was cleaning up after those who got insanely drunk that night, those who had to get their beloved ones to half walk, half drag them home. As usual I felt something start to gnaw in my stomach when I saw them stumble across the path, and I knew it was wrong but I was jealous of them, and there were nothing I could do about it. As an old woman, I couldn’t use my good looks, sparkling eyes of happiness, or even a tiny, charming smile to bewitch a male. I didn’t even bother trying these days, because I’d promised my husband I’d love him forever, and to think of ever getting together with a man made me feel ashamed of myself. So after a mental rant I just sat down deep in thoughts, staring at the bonfire still burning. So then it wasn’t strange that I was halfway to sky when someone suddenly patted me softly on the back. After I had calmed down enough to see and feel again, I heard someone chuckle kindly behind me. I knew at once who it was; there couldn’t be many men in the world with such a dark and warm voice. And he had started to come and talk to me after parties. “Hi” he said, still laughing quietly. I could feel the smirk in his face, and for some strange, unknown reason it made me feel a bit less empty. I slowly turned around and faced him, glaring daggers at him. I tried to make him drop the wicked smile by staring him to death, but it only made him laugh more. I couldn’t help but drop the act and smile myself.

“Stop it already” I smiled while brushing of my knees, “it wasn’t //that// funny…” He looked amused, but said nothing, and joined me on the log where I sat. We would sometimes have those conversations about life, flowers, death, hairstyles, and everything in between heaven and earth. And it really would help me every, single time. He was the light in the end of my dark tunnel, and he would always show up. His name was Killara, the man who always was there.

“Oh? It certainly looked funny from my point of view” he said while smiling softly to the sky. It was getting late, and the moon was slowly rising over the horizon.

“Well... Not from mine...” I mumbled, and tried to look annoyed. When he didn’t answer, I didn’t bother to try no more. It did not work at all, so I turned around to face him properly.

He sure was gorgeous, and I knew that if I were beautiful myself, I would certainly have tried to hit on him. But as an old woman with all my wrinkles I wouldn’t even dream about it. But he was the one that could make me feel whole with just a look, he made me happy with some simple word and he was the one that made everything seem so wonderful even when my days would drain me of energy. The rest of the night we sat there talking and smiling. I looked at him when I though he didn’t notice, and I could sometimes feel his eyes on me. When it started to get cold he held his arm around me and rubbed my back. I saw something in his eyes that night, but it was so rare to see someone looking at me like that. Just the way my husband used to look at me. I knew I felt for him like a good friend, but now I was wondering if he meant something more for me. It didn’t happen more that night, but something had happened, and we had both felt it.

When I woke up the next day the first thing I did was eating my breakfast while thinking of him. When I thought about it, and really //thought//, I knew that he had been on my mind a bit too often, and that I felt something starting to warm in my stomach while imagining his arm draped around my shoulders. I really should stop picturing myself with him. But the way he smiled, like he wanted nothing more but to make me feel as good as he felt. The way he soothed me with his dark, velvet voice when I realized I’d have to walk home alone. The way he walked me home while doing nothing special but still managed to make me feel loved. He made such an easy thing to something so deep and wonderful that I couldn’t help the smile growing on my face, and my cheeks starting to get a slight tint of red. I knew that my life was going to change soon, and I really hoped that Killara was going to be a part of it. And with that train of thought I went to talk with him.

When I’m looking back at my life these days I know that Killara saved me from whatever I could have done to myself. And I’m happy to tell everyone in the tribe that I’m getting married again. I never thought that I ever could love another man, but Killara, the man that always are there for me, proved me wrong. I am now a happy old woman and my work in the tribe has never been easier. It’s easy to tell other people how to be happy when you know yourself that everything can change for the better. There will always me some bad days, weeks, months and even years. But in the end, the problem can always be solved, and however bad the case is, you’ll eventually be happy.